Chicken of the sea's 'Salmon fillets'

So, a buck for half a pound of fish pre-seasoned is a great fuck'n deal, no matter who you talk to.

Chicken of the Sea has almost cornered the market on 'packet' salmon, and I've yet to see any traditional metal packaging. What was originally a disgusting solution of water/oil/fat/fishjucies is now replaced with legit marinade super-saturated with preservatives. this alone is a bit of a revolution. For years, I refused to eat canned fish-products because it was essentiually fish rotting in water or other juices until you opened it. Now, it's fish stuck in a garlic/barbeque paste or orange glaze.

Now, many have complained that the produces 'look and taste nothing like they appear to'. Honestly, how many things have you ate that taste like it looks?

Anywho, the cooking time for these steaks is A-Fuck'n-mazing. 40 seconds on a covered plate, and you have a hot steak. Covering is essential, since most of the sauces turn into paint-grenades when not hindered by a bowl.

There are three varities I know of. the Madrin Orange, which actually has baby oranges in a sour, citrusy glaze, Barbeque [pictured], and Garlic.

Orange is great if that's your kind of thing. You still taste the fish, and the oranges are much sweeter than the sauce itself. Bitter beer suggested.


Barbeque is a sweet, low heat/tang steak that is almost identicle to the local Memphis barbeque down to the use of certain spices. The aftertaste is a bit similar to beef-jerky, though. Fruity wine is suggested.

Garlic is the worst. Salmon should never, ever taste like broccoli. Yes, the sauce makes the fish taste like everyone's most hated vegetable, broccoli. The consistency of the sauce is similar to a horrible brown gravy, and just as appetizing to the eye. Vodka is suggested to remove taste, and the hang over to remind you not to buy this steak.

Welp, happy shopping boys and ghouls.